Homelessness, and how I achieved it (Trigger Warning; suicide)
Alright, so here it goes; how I got homeless (in The Netherlands). This might be a long story, and will update it when I need to. But here we go;
When me and my partner split up a few years ago, I had to quit my studies, I had to find a job, and had to find a house. This all within a month. I had to give up my dream of being a fully qualified Social Worker, my dream of being with the person I loved with everything I had, my dream of building a life with the person I loved most, while feeling unloved my entire life. I had to find and start a entire new life. I was a fuckin' lucky bastard to be offered a house by my metamour, he had a second house in the middle of the netherlands (where I live), I rented it of him for quite some rent, but it was lovely non-the-less. I found a job and found a entirely new group of friends, they were polyamorous, queer/gay/bi/pansexual etc., they were so enormously accepting of everyone. I had the time of my (new) life. Being single, pansexual, and multiple gay accepting bars within a few minutes from my house. I've met the greatest people I've ever met there. They are loving and lovely people.
But, soon I was hit with a burnout, apparently working that hard to keep my house, was too much. With my burnout, my depression came on hard again. I have been plagued with depression and suicidal ideation ever since. I had to let my job go, I had to live with my severe depression, my suicidal ideation, and some trauma.
I now wake up daily to suicidal thoughts, crying, wanting to end it all. This seems worrying, but I have the opinion that I am stronger than this, I see myself as a person that is quite, maybe even overly, rational. I am not a person that does something on a whim. I think -so far- that's the reason I am alive.
Right now; I do not have a house of my own; My computer-setup is at a friend's place. But, I travel to different friends and family weekly. It really sucks, but; I do not have to sleep under a bridge, I have a social network I can stay at 90% of times. I sleep at a trainstation maybe a few times a month, because I do wanna go out with friends, even if I can't sleep over there.